Commencing studying project "Hoffnungs"

For the last 7 days, have been taking my parents around and it was really tiring as travelling had never been so rush since almost everything closed down before 6pm. The moment they left me in that yellow cab toward the airport, I felt so alone again. It is so nice to have your family beside you, knowing that nothing else really matters, all you want is to see them happy, and thats why Im still here. Bought a Guess wallet for my mum as a mother's day gift but I felt kinda bad as its only Guess, was thinking about LV or Prada, haha... but i know its not quite possible right now. Anyway, they are back and Im now down to my daily routine again, but at least now I knew I had something to do, I had a whole text book to read, wtf. Well, it's actually this whole thingy Im doing named porject hoffnungs, a few hoffnungsmen (can't think of a better name) had been form to create this increadible porject, or not. Wtf, Im actually just exaggerating it lah, but will do my best in it. Good luck to me. After a long tiring week, I guess I deserve a short rest, will start my "work" tonight. Wtf, Sleepless night again....

The only pic I had with my parents, cause I was holding the camera all the while

Call my parents at around 1pm after I've sent them to the airport. I went to CSU to wait for my friend to discuss about her fees and I was surfing around the web looking for new places to stay, honestly, I hope its not gonna be almost the same price or else I aint gonna stay with them. Well, it depends though, I mean you can't just make assumptions that is not even relevant YET. I just hope I could get a correct new home.

wine and haircut

Went out for wine with my friends on Sunday night, morning, midnight, whatever you guys call it. It was kinda cold that night and it was kinda fun drinking wine and chatting all night long. We did order some finger food, well, not actually a finger food but since we all eat just a few munch, i guess its consider a finger food then. My housemate went back to her home country and I was suddenly had the whole house crowded with 3 new thai's housemate. They were pretty cool, just that its hard for me to talk to them and them talking to me cause they were not that fluent in english you see. One more thing, my house looked like a huge warehouse, honestly, I mean my housemate had a whole cupboard full of stuff, which the that cupboard happened to be kinda big which could fit in at least 14 people my size in that cupboard. Due to such overloading of "stocks", those new housemate of mine had to actually put all their stuff all over the living room, and I had a freaking hard time cleaning, vacuuming the whole house today, god damn those "stocks". Anyway.... heres the wine-drinking-fun-time.

My hair is freaking long, DAMN..!!

CHEERS!!!!

After one night of hangover and another night of wine consumption, I decided to go for a haircut on monday but was dump by my friends on monday so i went to have my haircut today. If you asked me, the cost for that haircut is enough for me for A WEEK. All cause I want to buy that really nice diamond as our anniversary gift, and forgetting ALL about mother's day and father's day. :(

Well, after the hair cut I bought myself 3 bottles of wine, 1 as a welcome gift for my parents when they were here to visit, god, I miss them so darn much. The rest, when talk ma drink lo, when want drink ma drink lo, need special occasion one meh?

I almost laugh when I took this picture, felt awfully akward since I don't usually cam-whored

Terribly weird smile...>_<"

3 Bottles of Wine that cost me $73, one cheap sweet red wine (right) which cost $8

2 more days and my parents will be here. Gonna have lots of fun with them, as if la... Stay at home all day, where also didn't go one how to have lots of fun. Stupidity and me...wtf

Hangover

Its been a while since I felt the feeling of hangover. I was out drinking with my colleague in a karaoke in the city yesterday night and met a bunch of new friends, mostly hongkies I persumed. It's about 13 people in that room and we had 6 bottles of Jonny Walker, imagine how muc consumption a person could get from so much of a alchoholic drink. Everyone in that room was really really great, especially in drinking, haha... for the first time, I experienced real life Hong Kong drama in a room, those people in that room really CAN drink, and I mean seriously, playing games and drinking and games and more drinking and more more drinking and more more more drinking.... and even those GIRLS are really really really really great drinker, the drunk ratio between me and those girls are 1:3, three times better than me. Awww... still having those dizziness in me...ZZZzzzz

The liquor for the night (Grab it from my friend's Facebook)

The ugly candid shot of mine when I was FORCE to drink...(Again, grab from my friend's Facebook)

SecretShhhh....

Im currenty waiting for 3 special dates that is gonna happened in the next few weeks.

24/5/09

My parents are coming to visit for a week, and yes...its only for a week, a short visit but i guess Its worth it cause it had been so long since I saw them, i mean in person not digitally.

8/5/09

I called it judgement day, cause consiquences are really really judgemental, lol. Well, doesn't matter, just wanna put it aside for the moment.

18/5/09

My third anniversary. Its the first time that Im not by her side, and I really wish her well. I seriously don't know what will be of us in the future but your still my perfect one, and because of that, her anniversary gift this year is more than anything that I had ever gave her, and it cost me a fortune which I hope its worth it...;p

Today, I went to all the places I never wished I would step into because it's so unbearabe just to look at the people who came out with their product. Still, I went in because of her... I went into Tifany n Co., then I went into Chanel, Gucci, LV, Prada, Hermes, Bally, Swaroski, and lastly Secrets Shhh... all products are freaking expensive I tell you, and you are pampered with hot gorgeous man, if Im a woman and walk in there, I could stay in for hours. I wondered how much they got paid for such jobs. The weird part is, most of the people who went in are ASIANS, YES ASIANS. Was undecided with where should I go and purchase my gift after all those figures "philandering" around my head. But in the end, I bought a 16" 14ct white gold necklace with a 2 carat diamond pendant, its FREAKING expensive you know, but since people said that diamonds are a girl's best friend, I guess it is worth just to see her smile, even though Im not sure whether she'll smile or she'll just throw it away. There's a weird part of it though, there's a warranty on its pendant (where the diamond was), but there is no warranty on the 16" 14ct white chain around it. Here's how it looked like...

It might not be available where I came from but Secrets diamonds was actually wore by alot of celebrities

A different view of it

A closer view of the necklace.

A closer view of the diamond.

I hope she'll like it. Its weird that she never really read my blog, haha... but sometimes its kinda cool since I can just write anything I want without her knowing, just like this one, I mean it still has like 4 more weeks before that exact date arrive, but I could just post it.

To her: Just want you to know that I love you and even though I've been struggling to make ends meet over here, I still to manage to save some money and get you a REAL diamond, and its the first time I ever bought something that expensive. Please becareful when you went out for lunch or something ok? Don't let any idiot gets near you, take care of it well and I want you to wear it wherever you go, that's why I've chosen a more simple ones instead of the fancy dressy ones. Happy Anniversary my love.

Requested Post: 50 first reactions

1)Beer : Pure Blonde & Heineken

2) Food : Bacon and Eggs

3) Relationships : Love and cherish them.

4) Crush : Non of them ends well with me...=(

5) Power Rangers : Lame...

6) Life : Meaningless without a destination even though the journey is what that matters

7) The President : Fuck GM!!

8) Yummy : Food?

9) Cars : 4 wheels, 2 doors for me.... yes just for me

10) Movie : V for Vendetta

11) Halloween : Treat or Trick

12) Sex : Part of life I guess?

13) Religion : You must be kidding...

14) Hate : I hate my life

15) Fear : To be unsuccessful in life

16) Marriage : more commitments to life...

17) Blondes : Paris Hilton

18) Slippers : Bata

19) Shoes : Expensive

20) Asians : Girls? Seductive

21) Pass time : Facebook....=.="

22) One night stand : Nervous? Exciting? I really don't know

23) My cell phone : I want a iPhone

24) Smoke : Bushfire

25) Fantasy : World Peace

26) College : Prom King!!!!!! Unforgetable....

27) High school life : Hurt, due to someone I guess...

28) Pajamas : Bedtime

29) Stars : Business

30) Center : Margin?

31) Alcohol : Vodka, Whisky, Tequilla, Kahlua, etc

32) The word love : My parents and all my love ones.

33) Friends : A whole long list, and its the best thing that happened in my life

34) Money : Spend wisely, money creates value not material

35) Heartache : No such thing, only heart attack

36) Time : Money

37) Divorce : Increasing every year

38) Dogs : Chihuahua -Paris Hilton

39) Undies : Errr....?

40) Parents : The most supportive ones I ever have

41) Babies : Annoying...

42) Ex : Im sorry...I really do, but to others, is he really better than moi?

43) Song : Trance, House, R&B, etc

44) Color : Green?

45) Weddings : Here goes your freedom

46) Pizza : Bread with meat, fruits, veg, etc

47) Hangout : Home with Facebook

48) Rest : So I could be a slave for this world again tomorrow

49) Goal : Live life with no regrets and full of happiness

50) Inspiration : Everyone from a CEO to a slumdog

interest and commitment

Well, it got me thinking for weeks on a few decisions that I can't make. One of it is the Kangaroo and boar case, after a long chat with my consultant, I think I've missed out on what's my purposes is if I've chosen boar, I would want to monetise a web that Im planning to build with a team of friends which they are pretty much interested in. So i guess it's a pretty good choice since I had nothing here and I had the whole team back, but then again, I put this "project" of mine as a priority but is my team members willing to make the same commitment? I can't tell for sure, would I have a fully commited team even if I got back?

It seems that uncertainty back home is much more than uncertainty over here. Say if it came out that they are not as committed as I think they would be and it would end up beng me alone also, so there aint much differences between staying and leaving. But if my team was fully committed to this "project", then it doesn't matter where I am either as we can still do things with the support of communication tools and softwares. What Im going to say is that there's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.

Cheers...^_^

FV=C0X(1+r)^r?

for starters, FV means future value. Its 6.25am right now and Im pretty much awake, or Im pretty much not feeling sleepy. Thing is, I was really really undecisive on a few things concerning my future and stuff like that. There are lots of things I wished I could do but i just don't feel that now isn't the time to do so, but there are still aspects that actually drawn me back, influencing and telling me that this had a better outcome, I don't know what my future value would be and it couln't be calculated in a precise formulae, because if it would, I would have made a perfect decision. I guess there is no perfect decision in my life, well... not as much as other people do have, I've always been a lone wolf and for something that long term, I guess Im not a very good wolf. Some people are so darn lucky that life are just so beautiful and well, people do thought Im a spoiled young kid but fact is, Im that pool boy in your spoiled neighbourhood and hell yeah Im proud of that. Im so used of people mis-interpreting me thinking that Im some beverly hill son of a bitch who drink vodka everyday and fuck around in my lamborghini which happened to be in my garage of a big fucking mansion. Honestly, who wouldn't want that, ha... point is, I aint that boy next door, and this motherfucking wolf boy ain't wanna waste his time for another motherfucking year.

Enough with those rage, had to get some sleep since its almost 7 right now, still had to get up and work. Let's make this short shall we, I just don't want to make a wrong decision and I don't I can never have a perfect decision. So, I need to get it approximately right rather than its precisely wrong, in fact, that's life, especially in this economy crisis. Kangaroo or Boar??? I still can't make up my mind, hoping for a better life here of went home where economy will be getting worse and worse at least for the next year and a country where policies are made to be anti-multi racial? Career & Family, which comes first? Business opportunities now or waiting for opportunities for years to come? Who is willing to commit with me if its now? Love, Family, Career, Business Opportunites, what's the FV of all these are to me? can someone tell me the beta, the risk free rate, interest, tax of each of these criteria so I could make a better desicion? Anyone?

kangaroo or boar???

I went to safeway yesterday and bought myself a kangaroo steak, went home and cooked it. here's how it looks like :

looks more like steak eh?! (of course it looks like steak, its a kangaroo steak...duh!)

I cook it mid-are and well-done (i prefer the mid-rare 1s though)

after eating, I had a good night sleep, lol. Well, that's not the point Im showing kangaroo steak over here, it's just a reminder that I had kangaroo meat before. Right in front of me right now, I had two choices, kangaroo or boar, what's kangaroo and what's boar you asked? I used to go to Serdang in Kedah back in Malaysia to have boar meat, and they cooked/fried/whatever in thick curry sauce/paste/dips, so that's boar; Kangaroo is the one I've just ate yesterday, so basically it says, Australia or Malaysia????

Well, I know that Malaysia is all going down and stuff but Australia is just too damn slow for me, people over here tend to spend their own "sweet" time just complete their task, and worst part is, they said things like: "If worse comes to worst, the government will take care of me." Oh, come on, grew up you freaking Aussies, you are no better than those lazy piggies back where I came from, the only differences is that you own bigger and stronger currencies, and oh, Aussies had higher debt level. Im not condemning Aus for being so damn slow and stuff but I just felt underachieve over here, I want to do and achieve great things in life, maybe because people around me are more successful than I am and I say to myself: " I ain't dumb, I ain't got no skills, I ain't did things lesser than any other people, how come Im still here?" and I know I used to live in a slum but so what? I want to be the next slumdog millionaire, of course not by entering a freaking contest. I had so much plan back home but there is so much doubt that it will ever work out, as I know things are getting too tense back home and support that I'll get won't be as much as it used to be. Im stucked here with 2 very unchosable choices, and I had no idea how to elaborate more cause It's my problem and I had to deal it myself anyway and this is just a journal of my slum life, and no point writing this in 10 pages or more as I will not get an answer still, so why bother. I love my country but its dying and I love everyone beside me but its not their life, its mine and I love where I am now but I know I might make a wrong decision and Ill regret it and making the one around me felt like Im never good with decision especially my consultant and my parents.

Alot of people want me to stay including my consultant as he said this would be the biggest mistake of my life and my business life if I do. Even my really close friends over here was saying things like: "Jacky, why? Give more time for Australia." or something like that. I would love to, but I aint got what it takes to take such risks, I never put anyone in a situation where I had to think of so many parties involved cause usually, it's only just me but this time it involved my consultant, my parents and me. What if I could really make a differences back home? What if Kangaroo steak just ain't for me, Im more of a boar guy? What if I can achieved more back home instead of waiting and wasting time over here hoping that opportunity will came through one day? What if I don't have to involved so many people and still achieved what they said I would over here? and the list...goes onnnnnn..................................