what had life brought me?

Was out with a friend just now, and it is for the first time we went out together. Very interesting person with lots of unwise decision, not to say that I'm being judgemental over here but these are among the people that I could actually be youthful again. The more I talk to her, the more I felt I wanna help her, but I really don't know how, my methods might be obsolete. Honestly, I've lost so much confident since I came back here, I lost the motivation to be the person that I promised to be, I'm afraid, furthermore, I still carry the weight of the world over my shoulder.

I so wanted to tell her that hey, look... once you decide you wanted this, make it works, if it doesn't works, make your next thing works with what you had now, don't quit. I looked around myself and I saw disappointment, I saw people that had so much hope for me and when I'm just around the corner, I blew it... By seeing her tonight, I felt there is something I can do to light up that fire in her and hence make mine visible again. I need to reinvent myself once again, or I'll just keep on disappointing everyone...

I'm usually close with people that had broken families or those without a proper family or without a family. I don't know whether its fate that met us together or its something else to made us friends, but I guess it is my duty to get the best out of you. The best part is, these people are usually younger than I am, haa... coincidence? maybe not...