Day by day, my emotions had failed me again and again. It's not those emotions that had butterflies and rainbows all over, but those with creepy crawlers and gloomy night. I guess this would have been the greatest test god had ever given me to test on my emotions. I look forward and backward... and whoever she was, isn't there anymore. She is more cunning and selfish now, nothing else matters much in this world except her, she took everything she used to love and care for granted, to her its all just about fulfilling her promises to someone else, she had lost her heart. I've also told her, don't let the world change you, you go out there and change the world, and no matter how the world changes, you blend in, you fit in, you do whatever you want, but never...never ever lose your heart of who you really are.
I guess the temptation she encounter was just too hard to resist, too hard for her to turn her back on. With the short term success and fame and fortune and glory and all those, she turn her back on who she is. I hope she'll find out very soon by herself as I have done everything beyond my power to lead her to the right path, the price? I've turn my back on my own path to do anything in my power to stop her from going off her track. She seem to take "pleasure" from her accomplishment so strongly, but I still saw some good in her, should I continue to save her or should I just leave her where she is and hopefully someday, she will remember what I've said.
She will be coming over in August, but will she still be the person I knew? or will she become more cunning and selfish? Will the environment here change her back? most of all does she really want to come over? I ask her that question, and I was given a straight forward answer, "I promise you before I will come, and I will." It sounded more like just a trip to you, nothing more......
Will this be the end.......? I really do hope I never find out....
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