Back to da futur3 I

seriously, im way 2 bz to blog but i had 2 write tis down b4 i actually lost my memory. heres da thing, i had no idea how many chapters there will be and which come 1st... im juz gonna dump everything in n hopefully...understood wat i juz wrote...haha...

ahh...yes...lets talk bout birthdays, still remember tat week n nite err...2 years ago...?
its my wifey's bday...

my wifey back then...*guessing*?

okies den, den there i was busying wif my preparation while she's busying doing something else, or not...neway, den i went to a few shops, hardware shops, bought some ropes for tying and rolling, wires for spanking n making knots, n other accessories for the excess excitement... *grin* (hey u, yes u, im not doing wat u think im doing)...im doing this...

ya, i noe its not huge but BIG enuff for it 2 FIT in my goddamn car...

n after the tying, knotting, papering, etc...


here it is...my not so masterpiece of a masterpiece..

hey, i was juz a boy back den, had no idea wtf all tis is all bout, if u ask me... i rather pay some1 2 do it for me da next time im thinking of doing something like tis...*wink*...duh, so pray tat i had a multi-billion company...or pray hard tat my current company had a miracle in tis current mayhen n chaos. well, during da nite... tis is wat happened...

i noe its not spectacular, but hey...it look so much better after photoshop-ing...muahaha...or in a real time video...

da rest... TO BE CONTINUE....

happy thoughts..

ok...since im soooo in da mood today for blogging today, so wat da heck... lets flashback on wat i had for da past few few few months...errmmm...let me c...oh...i forgot...i was so goddamn bz wif my company attending training, meetings wif my consultant, writing policies, designing websites, gettings things done overall, bla bla bla.... but hey u noe wat, i dun even owned a life back den... i was so attached tat i cant even sleep if my job isn't done... but i guess it all changed after tat last board meeting as i remember... honestly, im glad it happened, or else im still stucked in tat shithole... i even planned hows da company is going 2 go by next yr for god sake, n YES im fucking damn glad it happened, now im as fuckin free as a fuckin bird... i only do wat i was asked 2 help and tats it...no other fucking commitment...

well... lets not get 2 harsh on tat topic bout the past... well, not all past r as bad as tat 1... there also some gr8 moments which r not written here as i tried not 2 get attached back 2 it AGAIN... remember HOOK? tat movie by robbin williams? "all you need to fly is some fairy dust n all the happy thoughts you can think off" or something like tat...can't really remember...n hell yeah...i had a some really gr8 ones... n some its quiet recent...muahahaha....BEHOLD>>>

at moi degree convo wif weird lookin harry potter outfit

is tat a bat? is tat a statue? no, its me u dumpshit

oh...so sweet.. (shhh...its not supposed to be shown here)

of course there r still other happy thoughts like....oh yes...food, clothes, babes, liquor, jacuzzi, strip poker, nude beach, etc etc etc... n according chun (2008), it inappropriate to put so many pictures in a single blog as it is juz inappropriate. well den... next stop we'll had some happy thoughts on food... maybe clothes....no no...how bout babes.... how..... *fading*

goodbye??

for the past few months, i've gave up my hard work. there are of course a number of possible reasons why it happened. i guess i pretty much a dumb move but i guess its worthit... every bit of it, but i admit it is really a darn mistake but somehow i think i've grown from all this s**t. u noe wat? i somehow wanna sell off all my freakin shares for all i care, tired of doing tis, wishing i could juz leave but im still hoping, i gave tis brand a fresh breathe, a start, a vision but now, it seems like crap 2 me... its worthless... ill be missing it... but i guess there'll be a time when i would juz sell off n get my ass off...

Lately....

No idea why im writing this today. i mean its been so long since i ever wanted to blog again. i had so much 2 do and u know what? i dun feel like doing it rite now... maybe cus i had the wrong person in the wrong place. im talking bout my biz actually... things went so freaking akward lately, things are done correctly, i started 2 hate myself for it...i doing things 2 god damn slow...and other thing is...the rest is pretty slow as well...which i think its a total bullsh*t when some1 told me they dun haf time...
ppl juz dun prioritise things anymore...they do wat they wan when they wan...n in the end things were forgotten and things end up really messy... messy as in my "biz spot" is freaking dirty...things are dirty, its not clean, it felt like somebody's home rather den some organisation... n u noe wat? i cant say a thing, noe y? cuz there nth i could say... biz is slopping down n i aint see nth going on here... i felt so insucure but i definately dun mind tat... cuz i noe i had plan B...but honestly, i nvr wanted 2 c tis crashed... i juz dun wanna waste my time doing things which r a waste of time...
i dunno wat 2 say anymore cuz i juz dun noe wat else is there 2 be said... there r so many unknown n da known r not even done yet... i hope i wont fail though... cuz honestly i wanted 2 c it grow...
one last word....lately, it had been a awfully pain in the ass, full throttled pumping action, miserably fucked up kinda life... I HATE IT... n i cant change it cuz i aint haf enuff resources...n those i haf...r either fucked up or a piece of crap...

dillema, options or chances?

lately, so much had changes...i changed, my life changed, my expenses changed, my looks changed, my fitness schedule changed, bla bla bla......

happy chinese new yr...i guess

its da fourth day of cny, its been really gr8 though but when things started to settled in... i felt theres juz something missing..something...oh ya...yes...tats it...COMMITMENT...!!! i dunno but out of a sudden i felt like nobodies there...nobodies there to commit...its ridiculuos really... i mean if a single client doesnt matter den wats da point of having ure own business...serious...think bout it twice? if pleasure does come 1st, y should u ever commit in such serious commitment? god damnit...i starting 2 feel i made da wrong choice...maybe i need a leader, some1 who could lead me 2 lead da rest of them...i need things which could give motivation n commitment 2 my team n my partners. im afraid, afraid tat 1 day, all these...could be juz another dream...incomplete...n all tats left was me... in a place which kinda felt like the african desert...which i planned 2 change it 2 a oasis.... i really do need a mesiah... if preserverance is the key 2 success i guess, im still living in the 70s... i mean how much longer do u wanna take 2 be successful? wheres tat dream? wheres tat ego? wheres tat commiment 2 be diff? wheres tat ...tat everything...?
y look at wat u'll get in 5 yrs time if u could actually get it in a yr? y is such time needed 2 be wasted? bullsh*t... face it... i sometimes sucked, eventhough i noe i did my best, i still think its not the best...cuz i hate it...i dislike da fact tat it actually sucked... i really do wished i had a better n greater team... i miss being tat strong person i used 2 be, im getting weaker n its all my fault... i made a mistake, which i'll nvr 4give.... i miscalculated.... i swear 2 god ill fix it....no matter wat, but pls....pls pls pls pls....give me a team tat could work wif me... make tis whole thing worked...all i ask is a lil more commitment instead of actually committing in da wrong place at da wrong time...no1 is perfect ill give u tat... so am i...

ug...ug....ug...ly

today the eve of chinese new year, where every1 should be sticking at home having dinner n did nth. so did i, but u noe wat, my wifey came...haha...so decided 2 take her 4 a ride & get some fresh air since i've been staying home da whole day. at 1st, it was exciting cuz i got 2 meet her...den when i met her n we tok n u noe wat, her bro's gf's lil' bro is so damn cocky... god damnit he's not my bro, ill whack da hell out of him. well, since most of da shops r closed & none of us had any idea, so we went back 2 her bro's gf place n guess wat...tat stupid lil' bro said something really...ermmm....kinda reminds me of my old days, where u were looked down n nth else matters...felt kinda terrible though...da moment he said tat something, i began 2 ponder n kinda look at myself subconciously. seriously, im getting out of shape like some dirtbag a**hole. i wished i could do something bout it but i guess its 2 late. haha....i hope everything will be fine on the following day since ill be going here n there from tml onwards. god bless me... i had no idea wat i've sinned but pls...pls... dun let me be tat walking zombie tat freak me out everyday...i wanna be ME...yes me... i wanna look gud, i wanna be cool...well...i wan everything 2 be perfect. tats me...u noe...lots of complain bout life but sometimes did nth cuz i noe it doesnt makes any difference...
yeah...laugh at me...hahaha...at last, my stupidity appeared in my blog... was thinking tat tis would be something abit more serious n get me some blogger award or something...but hey, i guess im pretty dumb...well....at another point of view, im juz writting wats in my mind. slap me....*SLAP*

memoirs of moi

for the past few months, things had been really....tiring...exhausting...unbeneficial and should i say "youth tearing"...y is tat? cuz my life had a mjor change, i lost my life as a young adult... i mean, i miss those days when i could dance, i miss those days when i could drink, i miss those days when i could club whole week...i miss all my hommies, i miss all my bros, i miss all those hot chicas, i miss all my friends, i miss all those pleasure... i guess life been great 2 me, or should i said i chose 2 be tis way, hell...blame me for everything. here's a lil' pictures 2 get u guys thinking...

wanna get a lil' closer?

u noe wats gonna happened if those abs lacked of dance, club, activities, life and sosial contact? heres the answer:

well guess wat? i look somewat like tat rite now....i missed my abs....kinda hate da pressure i had now though, eventhough i noe its worthit...or not? when life changes, lifestyle started 2 change, i looked like a farking zombie wif big fat abs... i dunno when will be da turning point of tis "life", but i hope its gonna be soon cuz im stared to hate myself for being tis rediculously pathetic... im juz afraid, afraid tat i might be making the wrong choices... but u noe wat, i will not regret 4 wat i've chosen. i chose tis path cuz i wanted 2, cuz i dun wanna juz another jackass out there wif nth but plain bullsh*t...

thesssseeeee pressure is killing me...nvr had such harsh time till now...maybe cuz i had 2 much commitment in it...n sometimes i felt its so unnecesary. talkin bout commitment, lately, i...took for granted tat my life was juz my businesses, n i've forgotten whos da person beside me...i neglected her in so many ways...i juz wana say im sorry...im sorry tat all my days were spend in my own agenda n forgotten bout all tat actually matters is u...i missed u...so much...looking forward so much for tat hugs n kisses... wish to get back 2 your place as soon as possible...eventhough i kinda missed my home...valentines is near btw, really had no idea wat am i gona do..i wished i had all da time in da world, but i gues tats not possible...