Hate it when life put you to the test

So much to do and so little time, well....to be honest, it should be re-written as, all these things can be done easily, so why am I doing it the long, hard way? When life puts you in a situation where you are blind folded and you had no idea what you are facing, that's the smell of despair, disappointment, and anger. You'll blame yourself for not being good enough, you'll ask questions like why am I so different? Well, in this case, that's what makes a person unique... but I mean, what is peace? or even better....inner peace... if you ask me, i think is finding your comfort zone and make the best out of it... but you know what, we were all thought to be fighting out of our comfort zones, or else there is won't be a space for us to grow...we'll grow lazy, we'll grow slow, dumb, stupid, etc.... But always, there is a saying... I'm standing still but that doesn't mean I'm not doing anything. Heck, I don't even know what I'm talking about.

i had forgotten who i wanna be

Things goes by so quickly, and honestly, I've forgotten my past, hence what lies in my future? I used to be so sure where I wanna be and what I wanna be... the impact of change in life may it little or small, had greatly affected my routine... I felt life is no longer beautiful, everyday there is only 1 thing to do, making major decision. Well, it might be a minor decision, but it seems tat I'm wasting alot of my valuable time on making decision on issues that I don't really want to make decisions on.

I've once again darken my path with my own shadows, why is there so much misery and chaos that ruled my world. some people said its a dog eat dog world out there, survival of the fittest, you wanna stay alive, you gotta be the fastest, strongest, smartest, etc of them all...but think again, I thought we came into awareness that life is not about taking, its about giving. Sadly, everyone prefers pride and humidity.

Temptation such as liquor, products and services that offers exclusive and luxurious status to people who think that life is something worth fighting for, that they deserve to be rich, they deserve to be respected, they deserved to be somebody out there telling you what to do. But does it really matters? I won't call myself an atheist but it surely bleeds my heart to see how all these had turn into something unexceptionably unexplainable.

I don't know who I am anymore, I'm covered in my cloak of shadows, hiding in the edge of the world, watching everyone else rot in the rat race and race towards that dream they had been dreaming of... I hate myself, I hate the fact that I ain't had the courage to fight back, to fight for what i believe in... I lost faith...

work work..

Chinese New Year is over and here we are, all of us had gone back to work. Life a mystery, never knew whats going to happened the next second, even we knew that everything can be calculated, somehow...

So much had happened and 2011 is indeed a new year. all of us had entered a new year where hopefully everything changes for the better. Had so much plan this year but I'm afraid that there are some consequences that i miscalculated, or even I'm too rush that i over-looked the opportunities. Thanks to globalisation and capitalism, every men is indeed for themselves. We used to hear teamwork divides the task and doubles the success, but not everytime credits goes to the team but that one person. Everything around us is moving in such fast pace that most of us still think that we are on a sweet, comfortable cushion. Just by looking back a few years, I've seen how the world had shift, no matter whether its economical, political, society, culture, nature.... everything had their own way of making this world a really really scary one.

We all knew that we live in a knowledge economy where everything around us evolve mainly on knowledge itself, of course the next best thing is technology. Ignoring the fact that a solar flare is going to hit earth soon, but YES! this is consuming the world... I mean just look at the facts around it, music is now digitalised, thanks to iPod, and since the introduction, companies like tower records had a steep decline in their profit, it took iPod 3 years to actually see such results. But recently, and yes i mean RECENTLY, look at iPad and other digital reading devices, people just don't go for the usual physical thing anymore... and thus, borders declare its closing down of several branches around the world in JUST 1 YEAR!!

I'm really scared by how the fact that everything is moving so fast, but me....I'm slowing down. i need a rebound from the enthusiastic me who I think I've left it somewhere back few years ago when I had my esteem high at my peak... or so....

meccas, subway or roti ba kua?

we live in a world of choices, and I've witness the evolution of mankind, the evolution of a person's personality to a person ego controlling everything that came into their path. I myself had a strong ego i presumed, always wants everything to be perfect, but i guess things aint always the way you wanted...

In my local context, we grew up eat roti ba kua, and as we grew, we fell in love with meccas, and then subway came into our lives with its exclusive healthy sandwiches, thats a breaky not everyone can afford. I still remember there is a time, I would watch dramas until 4am in the morning just to drive to meccas and get my breaky, those were the times... and because of this, I've forgotten how wonderful it is to actually had a hot roti ba kua at that time with a cup of kopi peng...we have walk so long in our asadi shoes that we forgot that it ever existed when we had our adidas shoes on...

If there is a choice, why do we choose something that is exclusive? why do we want something that makes us feel like we are somebody? why do we choose to be exclusive? why are we groomed from the very young day we were born, we are meant to be somebody? why do teachers taught us to follow someone else footsteps and be a better "them"? why cant we just be ourselves? or should I say who is ourselves? Do we really know who we are? IF we do, why are we trying so hard to be a better bill gates? to be a better warren buffet? to be a better steve jobs? or even to be a better angelina jolie? a better lady gaga? a better obama? a better dalai lama...? can't we see all the resources that we had in this world wants us to be someone or something else beside who we are?

complicated?

had a whole day recapping how this world reacts on materialism, found out, temptation is just too hard to resist. People don't know what they are asked for, and had no idea what hitting them, people make empty promises, hoping 1 day they would do as they have promised. Honestly, I'm afraid, afraid of looking someone straight in the eye and say, "hey, you are the next closest thing to real"... I'm warned that even as life goes on, people who said that materials doesn't evolve around their life are usually full of crap. They said it because they haven't been struck by it, yet...

I'm afraid that 1 day, I once again felt into the same situation, where I am judge for what I am instead of who I am, but I dunno why, with all the insecurity and fear surround me, I chose to believe, believe in something I felt through time, it will change, why am I so sure that I wont be just in the same scenario? Simple, because I led a different perspective of this world, I see this world as what it is, naive? No... Delusional? I would say its a matter of personal contact and the understanding of the world...

I count myself lucky to be able to stand again in this dreadful world, full of sin, full of happy thoughts, full of chaos... I saw her and I believed once again, and yes I'm talking about you my beloved wifey Angie, I look into your eyes and I believed everything you said, I'm told that its too early to decide, but to be honest, you really had taken my heart away, but I'm afraid of one thing, that 1 day, you might find that I ain't the one, because I ain't perfect enough for you. To me, you are more than perfect, I fell for you because you are more than it meets the eye kinda person, but me? I'm nobody, trying hard to be somebody, hoping someday, held your hand in marriage, crazy? No, its because you made me see hope once again... I wished one day in the future, you will still see my perfection through all the imperfection that I have. I love you Angie, I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow as it seems, I'm just hoping that you would too...

life

life is unpredictable indeed. Been through alot and still havent figure out why people still fight for their own benefits. selfishness

好幸福哦！

跟你在一起这一星期超开心，没想到我这傻瓜还有人要。。。

刚才在喝酒时，翔点了首歌-I Believe，

看到那MV，原来是野蛮女友里的情节，

一看就想到你，你那野蛮中的温柔，

你那霸道中的关心，你那粗鲁中的体贴，

真的让我一天比一天的更爱你。。。

你每次讲你笨，其实我觉得你真的很聪明，

我刚才看到你的作品时，真的觉得你很棒。。。

你每次说你很长气，其实我觉得你好关心我，

我每次还要你来提醒我顾好自己，真的觉得你超棒。。。

可能就是你的不完美，让我觉得你很完美。。。

其实我从来都没想过有人觉得我那么棒，你是第一个

其实我从来没想过有人会那么体贴，你是第一个

其实我从来没想过有人会每天想吻我，你是第一个。。。

我其实一点都不完美，

我其实一点都不聪明，

我其实一点都不棒，

很多时候，真的觉得自己很笨，很没用，好像什么都做不到，

而你就比我在这方面做得好多了。。。

总之，有你在身边，真的真的超棒，超幸福！！