i had forgotten who i wanna be

Things goes by so quickly, and honestly, I've forgotten my past, hence what lies in my future? I used to be so sure where I wanna be and what I wanna be... the impact of change in life may it little or small, had greatly affected my routine... I felt life is no longer beautiful, everyday there is only 1 thing to do, making major decision. Well, it might be a minor decision, but it seems tat I'm wasting alot of my valuable time on making decision on issues that I don't really want to make decisions on.

I've once again darken my path with my own shadows, why is there so much misery and chaos that ruled my world. some people said its a dog eat dog world out there, survival of the fittest, you wanna stay alive, you gotta be the fastest, strongest, smartest, etc of them all...but think again, I thought we came into awareness that life is not about taking, its about giving. Sadly, everyone prefers pride and humidity.

Temptation such as liquor, products and services that offers exclusive and luxurious status to people who think that life is something worth fighting for, that they deserve to be rich, they deserve to be respected, they deserved to be somebody out there telling you what to do. But does it really matters? I won't call myself an atheist but it surely bleeds my heart to see how all these had turn into something unexceptionably unexplainable.

I don't know who I am anymore, I'm covered in my cloak of shadows, hiding in the edge of the world, watching everyone else rot in the rat race and race towards that dream they had been dreaming of... I hate myself, I hate the fact that I ain't had the courage to fight back, to fight for what i believe in... I lost faith...