happy chinese new yr...i guess

its da fourth day of cny, its been really gr8 though but when things started to settled in... i felt theres juz something missing..something...oh ya...yes...tats it...COMMITMENT...!!! i dunno but out of a sudden i felt like nobodies there...nobodies there to commit...its ridiculuos really... i mean if a single client doesnt matter den wats da point of having ure own business...serious...think bout it twice? if pleasure does come 1st, y should u ever commit in such serious commitment? god damnit...i starting 2 feel i made da wrong choice...maybe i need a leader, some1 who could lead me 2 lead da rest of them...i need things which could give motivation n commitment 2 my team n my partners. im afraid, afraid tat 1 day, all these...could be juz another dream...incomplete...n all tats left was me... in a place which kinda felt like the african desert...which i planned 2 change it 2 a oasis.... i really do need a mesiah... if preserverance is the key 2 success i guess, im still living in the 70s... i mean how much longer do u wanna take 2 be successful? wheres tat dream? wheres tat ego? wheres tat commiment 2 be diff? wheres tat ...tat everything...?
y look at wat u'll get in 5 yrs time if u could actually get it in a yr? y is such time needed 2 be wasted? bullsh*t... face it... i sometimes sucked, eventhough i noe i did my best, i still think its not the best...cuz i hate it...i dislike da fact tat it actually sucked... i really do wished i had a better n greater team... i miss being tat strong person i used 2 be, im getting weaker n its all my fault... i made a mistake, which i'll nvr 4give.... i miscalculated.... i swear 2 god ill fix it....no matter wat, but pls....pls pls pls pls....give me a team tat could work wif me... make tis whole thing worked...all i ask is a lil more commitment instead of actually committing in da wrong place at da wrong time...no1 is perfect ill give u tat... so am i...

ug...ug....ug...ly

today the eve of chinese new year, where every1 should be sticking at home having dinner n did nth. so did i, but u noe wat, my wifey came...haha...so decided 2 take her 4 a ride & get some fresh air since i've been staying home da whole day. at 1st, it was exciting cuz i got 2 meet her...den when i met her n we tok n u noe wat, her bro's gf's lil' bro is so damn cocky... god damnit he's not my bro, ill whack da hell out of him. well, since most of da shops r closed & none of us had any idea, so we went back 2 her bro's gf place n guess wat...tat stupid lil' bro said something really...ermmm....kinda reminds me of my old days, where u were looked down n nth else matters...felt kinda terrible though...da moment he said tat something, i began 2 ponder n kinda look at myself subconciously. seriously, im getting out of shape like some dirtbag a**hole. i wished i could do something bout it but i guess its 2 late. haha....i hope everything will be fine on the following day since ill be going here n there from tml onwards. god bless me... i had no idea wat i've sinned but pls...pls... dun let me be tat walking zombie tat freak me out everyday...i wanna be ME...yes me... i wanna look gud, i wanna be cool...well...i wan everything 2 be perfect. tats me...u noe...lots of complain bout life but sometimes did nth cuz i noe it doesnt makes any difference...
yeah...laugh at me...hahaha...at last, my stupidity appeared in my blog... was thinking tat tis would be something abit more serious n get me some blogger award or something...but hey, i guess im pretty dumb...well....at another point of view, im juz writting wats in my mind. slap me....*SLAP*

memoirs of moi

for the past few months, things had been really....tiring...exhausting...unbeneficial and should i say "youth tearing"...y is tat? cuz my life had a mjor change, i lost my life as a young adult... i mean, i miss those days when i could dance, i miss those days when i could drink, i miss those days when i could club whole week...i miss all my hommies, i miss all my bros, i miss all those hot chicas, i miss all my friends, i miss all those pleasure... i guess life been great 2 me, or should i said i chose 2 be tis way, hell...blame me for everything. here's a lil' pictures 2 get u guys thinking...

wanna get a lil' closer?

u noe wats gonna happened if those abs lacked of dance, club, activities, life and sosial contact? heres the answer:

well guess wat? i look somewat like tat rite now....i missed my abs....kinda hate da pressure i had now though, eventhough i noe its worthit...or not? when life changes, lifestyle started 2 change, i looked like a farking zombie wif big fat abs... i dunno when will be da turning point of tis "life", but i hope its gonna be soon cuz im stared to hate myself for being tis rediculously pathetic... im juz afraid, afraid tat i might be making the wrong choices... but u noe wat, i will not regret 4 wat i've chosen. i chose tis path cuz i wanted 2, cuz i dun wanna juz another jackass out there wif nth but plain bullsh*t...

thesssseeeee pressure is killing me...nvr had such harsh time till now...maybe cuz i had 2 much commitment in it...n sometimes i felt its so unnecesary. talkin bout commitment, lately, i...took for granted tat my life was juz my businesses, n i've forgotten whos da person beside me...i neglected her in so many ways...i juz wana say im sorry...im sorry tat all my days were spend in my own agenda n forgotten bout all tat actually matters is u...i missed u...so much...looking forward so much for tat hugs n kisses... wish to get back 2 your place as soon as possible...eventhough i kinda missed my home...valentines is near btw, really had no idea wat am i gona do..i wished i had all da time in da world, but i gues tats not possible...