Insomia 2014

So here I am, unable to sleep. I do not fancy blogs as much as I used to be, rather spend my time doing something else instead of blogging bout stuff that rambling in my head.

Okay, Im not trying to say that im in trance or anything. Basically, there's so much in my head i dont know where to begin, or even to understand what is going to be and not to be. My questions became a burden, the process of seeking the answers became hidden. Maybe I just got too much on my back?

In a way, Im juggling among my personal life, my business and my life long path. Im not saying I do not have a plan nor im saying that I just trying to do things which are bigger than what I can handle. I just trying to say that, every actions, every decisions, every step I made have consequences which will somehow took 1 of those for granted or sacrifice of those. Ignorance is bliss? Don't think thats working now...

Personal Life
Ever felt that you been pressure by peers, your love ones or even by yourself? What you do, how you sit, when you exercise, why can't you do better? Its the kind of "emotional test" that you have to go through everyday after work. Work in this case, a job thats buys you the meal to keep you going. Sometimes I just wished I could be myself after all these BS

Business
Every wonder why you knew you have a brilliant plan but it never work out? My case was different, I have a vision, a vision of how things in an organisation should be. By creating HOPE within each and everyone in the team. But what if all these "visions" have barriers? Not those barriers that stop you from achieving in but the barriers that you know you cant get through if the... cash flow isnt coming in. From where I come from, vision is 1 thing, nobody cares bout the higher purpose, we just wanna move on and look forward. If any of us survive, thats good enough. Dreams and Hope dont really exisit in a comfort zone.

Life Long Path
I wanna quit, quit being a survivor, quit being able to care bout everyone else around me. But thanks to the awesome creation of the soul and heart, I cant stop to see how rotten and corrupted this world have become. How can you just leave and do nothing about it? I wanna make this world a better place, not by singing another Micheal Jackson song, but by creating opportunities to those who really need it, not those who knew how to grab it. Not everyone is capable of doing of others can, but everyone deserve a chance, a chance which was not given cause that someone fail to cease the opportunity. Yes, some do deserve it for not making the effort, what if those who cant make any effort even they tried to?

From the looks of how this whole thing goes, this is a crappy post. In a way, I cant reconcile whats in my head and put it into proper layman language and write it like any normal person. Im weird, I have my own set of philosophy but I guess that's how things evolve around me as well. I see perfection in things that normal people saw as imperfection. I just wanna make things beautiful again, spread the hope.