Was really messed up lately and i mean SERIOUSLY messed up. I guess I had the worst month ever, all because of my imperfection. but i guess things started to change within this few days, even though those "impefections" within me still exist. starting to felt like im just being "used", and it just make me felt stupid...
My cousin reached Mel yesterday, was "supposingly" going out lunch with Sharon but end up she had appointment with her "bf" and to my suprise, my cousin rang me and i end up having lunch with her and her friends. great lunch... but the journey there wasn't that good as i think it would be but at least it ended pretty well... "thing" i've seen somehow just makes me felt "uncomfortable"...for no reason? maybe... but i guess, its just another beautiful nightmare. suppose to be going to Yarra valley today with my cousin but ended up not going because... just because...
Anway, meeting up my cousin again tomorrow night for dinner and clubs. YEA!!! havent had a real drink for like ages (meaning i used 2 drink alone). I guess everything would be really cool that day and YES i will return to where i came and continue on those tracks that i promised myself... i dont take failure as a solution, and my "imperfection" will be the main reason for my perfection... i hope...hahaha...FYI, im still looking for my BPM certification program, was told by my mentor that there is online courses available because they just aint offering it here in any Uni around Mel.
Wasn't being myself today in class, those feelings are really hard to bare, but i did a good job i guess. i was there the whole session without having my ass lift off my chair, yet there are things that are so hard to bare, and i made it through, but still so lost with what i've just did. thought things would be better as i was reading that book i've just borrowed and listening to my music, but... it doesn't help much... was lookin through so much of me and my wifey pictures just now with my housemate and i almost weep in tears. I really do miss her alot...
When i got back, and after my shower, was planning to check on facebook a while and then dinner. then there goes my beautiful nightmares again... by this weekend, everything need to be and will be sorted out... i thought i've found myself back today, and i thought that i had control....all the change in my life just fell away, i just hate the things about myself i see in you and its so hard to tell if this is real or just my relfection...
My cousin reached Mel yesterday, was "supposingly" going out lunch with Sharon but end up she had appointment with her "bf" and to my suprise, my cousin rang me and i end up having lunch with her and her friends. great lunch... but the journey there wasn't that good as i think it would be but at least it ended pretty well... "thing" i've seen somehow just makes me felt "uncomfortable"...for no reason? maybe... but i guess, its just another beautiful nightmare. suppose to be going to Yarra valley today with my cousin but ended up not going because... just because...
Anway, meeting up my cousin again tomorrow night for dinner and clubs. YEA!!! havent had a real drink for like ages (meaning i used 2 drink alone). I guess everything would be really cool that day and YES i will return to where i came and continue on those tracks that i promised myself... i dont take failure as a solution, and my "imperfection" will be the main reason for my perfection... i hope...hahaha...FYI, im still looking for my BPM certification program, was told by my mentor that there is online courses available because they just aint offering it here in any Uni around Mel.
Wasn't being myself today in class, those feelings are really hard to bare, but i did a good job i guess. i was there the whole session without having my ass lift off my chair, yet there are things that are so hard to bare, and i made it through, but still so lost with what i've just did. thought things would be better as i was reading that book i've just borrowed and listening to my music, but... it doesn't help much... was lookin through so much of me and my wifey pictures just now with my housemate and i almost weep in tears. I really do miss her alot...
When i got back, and after my shower, was planning to check on facebook a while and then dinner. then there goes my beautiful nightmares again... by this weekend, everything need to be and will be sorted out... i thought i've found myself back today, and i thought that i had control....all the change in my life just fell away, i just hate the things about myself i see in you and its so hard to tell if this is real or just my relfection...
2 comments:
you will sort it out in no time ^^
hahha...try 2 psycho me ar? it doesnt seem 2 work...
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