Having so much thought wondering in my mind lately, starting to doubt that i had the ability to know everything. The person i love the most has evolved into something else....yes...something else not someone else... she drifted so far away from who she was, im afraid....afraid of losing who i once knew and love. She's been meeting out strangers and doing things she never would have done, she been through things she swore she wont never been through, she even lie when she doesnt have to, she's starting to be unfaithful in a sense. she ignore most of what i have to said and said she would take care of herself but fact is, she don't even understand what she is doing, she had indeed overstep the boarder. what is there for me to do? i cant force her into doing something she wouldnt want to, i cant make her think straight any more.
Sometimes, i wish i wouldnt have to know all these. the truth sometimes is just plain ugly, and i guess she plans to hide that ugly side of the truth for as long as she could. There is no other way to get her to say unless i tell her straight to her face, why? you knew you are old enough to understand what i meant, you knew there were lies you wouldnt have said, you knew someone you knew for a week or even month who ask you out alone or vice versa would mean putting yourself in the tip of the iceberg. its not just about crossing the line, its about who you are, i dont even whether what you said to me could be the truth anymore, i dont even know whether those words you tell me, is it really something from your heart or is it something you had to say it for the sake of saying it. furthermore, you had been trying so hard to keep secrets now, i wish i knew what was the reason, and you know the reason is not because i want to stalk on you. if you walk a straight line from point A to point B, it couldnt be anything else other than straight when you walk from back from point B to point A.
another 5 more months, we are going to meet again, but just after 31 days of us being apart, i could see drastic changes which is out of the ordinary. i had forsee this happening, i just wouldnt believe that i was actually correct. i had another vision, of what to be in 5 months.... i really do hope im wrong this time. i really do hope when you come, you come with your heart and soul, not because of your empty promises. that's the last part that i wouldnt want to see as the ones before and the ones coming soon is not pretty as well. i just pray that i have the strenght to witstand this, to keep on standing no matter what.
