memoirs of 2009

I loved u, I love u, I will always love u...

This post is more of a random issues and facts that had happened over the year of 2009, might not be a complete issue as this post is a spontanious response to what I can remember at the moment and written down here.

I went to melbourne on 5th of January this year. At that moment, i was still very certain on whats my life is going to be and I had like this whole map in my head of which directions and if i had issues which path should i go to but i guess i overestimate myself. Im still very glad when i got there, issues arising quicker than i could solve it, but i was still lucky....yes..."STILL" as i had lots of support from my family and my wifey. Time moves on and things get to be used to, im starting to fit in the environment i hated so much but had this urge to give out as my whole life-long map in my head seems to be the wrong one. That was April when i spoke with my parents and my consultant about all my issues, end up i decided to stay. this is the hardest decision i ever made, because I know, if i go on, ill be hanging on both countries. the country i once knew will no longer be the same after what im suppose to pursue here, and the country im in now is so new that i need time to understand it.

My parents came on end of April，was the best week i ever had, the sense of families grew straonger. I used to be a work fanatics and always thinking of ways how to earn more and live the life i ever wanted for me, my parents and my wifey. but that week, it showed me something more than what life can offer. The day my parents went into the cab, tears fall of my very eyes that i swore i never had any emotional attachment on a mission. i failed, and i knew i was attached with emotions. My parents and my wifey, they both complete me, and are able to incomplete me. me and my wifey started to talk less after that, job might be busy for her i guess. it was still ok as im going back in August. that is the best flight i ever had, everyone was sleeping on that flight that night, and i was so energetic that i stay awake almost the whole night. At that airport, i saw her and she held my hand in the car, i never felt so warmt by a girl's touch after so long. that day was perfect, i don't think any words could even decribe it.

met with most of my friends even though its a short trip. was a great one. Had the most interesting time ever with my wifey in Vistana Hotel for more than a week. Went PC fair, bought myself a new HDD. it was just beautiful. until the day i went into the airport again, i had the tightest hug from my wifey, i cant stop thinking bout that hug... i can see in the eyes of my mum, wishing that i could stay longer and my dad trying to act tough. haa... this is where all the issues that i hate the most arises, funds in my bank had shorten and issues with my housemates and searching for a new house seems frustratingm the worst part is, since October, me and my wifey gone further, her face had ance all over after a swim at a friend's house, and starting to care less, as in im the one who will say hi, how are you and other stuff. she'll just answer, yes, no, im fine, u?, not bad.... those answers that you can have from an AI. what hurts me the most, she started to tell lies, which was then explain to her when i got back in December that if she did tell me the truth, i might think otherwise and affect my objectives there. as time goes by, i tried to look on pieces of breadcrumbs and found that her lying activity is increasing. that pisses her off, she said why am i checking and stalking on her? truth is i wasnt, its not the truth that bothers me, its the truth that i know that it just aint so... maybe she had all this figure out before i did, i dont know, i was told on August that she planned to moved out and stay with her friends. Maybe it was pre-planned, but i guess it doesnt matter anymore. we talked and we promises each other AGAIN that no lies between us even the truth hurts.

Had a busy busy busy busy schedule when i got back on December, that week i got back, i went Hatyai with my wifey and her family, the week after, we went Singapore with friends for christmas which we ended up spending time in mamak. Met with few of my friends lately and we talk about lots of stuff. How many of us could have a friend and still remain as a friend after 12 years, and we are not two, or three, or even four, we are in tens. Some of us had their own businesses, some had a good job, some had good wifes/husbands, but when we are out, we are still that 11 year old kid. I appreciate these friendship...

well, its new year eve today, and im down with a fever. hate the fact that im sick and was unable to go out with my wifey, but weird part is, non of her friends ask her out either, i was somehow felt that i was being a pretty bad bf in front of her friends and shes such an angel in front of my friends. I guess its allright, even though i know it for sure thats a fact, but at least she doesnt give me overated excuses like she used to be. I just hope nothing Spectacular happened next year. I pray that my new year would be great, full of miracles....