Tuesday, December 28, 2010

OMG!

OMFG!! I honestly dont know what happened to me heart, but it hurts when I hear those words. Me stupid, still believe that such miracle exist. Me go sleep now... :(

Thursday, December 23, 2010

出乎你的预料

刚才她来了,把东西搬着搬着时,发现到原来我在她心目中已经什么都不是了,我去年给她的钻石项链,已经不在她身边了,我们的照片,也因为这样,她叫我扔了。。。我们的回忆,我们的所有所有,就在今天毁灭了,原来我只不是一个她生命的路过人,我再也不是她的谁了。

就因为她的残酷,帮她收了她的东西,搬上了车,我也很潇洒的离开了。整个过程中,真的好多回忆在我脑袋,仿佛这还是昨天,她那紧张下楼梯的样子,她要出大门前所做的一举一动,她流汗抹汗的时候,她开车坐上的粗鲁,那不再重要的微笑,所有的点点滴滴,就在这部洛克写完后,就会像她那样,永远都不会再是我生命的一部分。

今年的圣诞,今年过年,情人节,还有其它的日子里,其实很想跟一个人度过这一些,就因为觉得她跟我在这方面很像,跟她在一起很舒服。。。所有东西都可以把它抛一边,把我的所有给了他,不出声都好,她都会一直在那边讲,好像当了这就是她的世界,所有的空间都属于她的,要讲就讲,要做就做。。。看到她,我总觉得是我让这世界失望了,这世界依然还在支持我,告诉我你是能的。。。

my love for you ends today, wish you all the best with your new guy. My beloved Wifey

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

My immortal


I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears

Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

Remember then....

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

说好的幸福

我单身咯。。。眼睛肿肿的,我还给一个青春无敌美少女安地讲我眼睛肿到连眼珠都看不见了,我答应了她也答应了自己,我会比她更快乐。。。我这幸福就得带给下一个幸运者啦。。。哈!过了今天我就会完全放下她咯,有可能吗?只要相信就有可能。。。

Not easy to be me

今天一早就听到了坏消息,我的感情世界终于结束了。。。
去看了电影,还跟几个朋友聊了一下。。。
他们说我很坚强,把东西看得很开,有第三者的出现还能那么冷静。。。
我只能笑笑的,其实我再多么柔弱都得坚强,
难道真的那么容易吗?跟一个人同屋,同床那么多年了,
我在多么坚强都会被那些回忆打败。。。
但如果人家显得出我的柔弱,那我实在太naive了。。。
我好友讲我很棒,讲的到的事真的发生在我身上我一样可以办得到。。。
其实那是因为我必须办得到,我没得选择。。。
在我的世界里,我真的没办法选择,因为我一柔弱下来,
很多东西就没婉转了。。。

life is unpredictable, and honestly, I had quite a day today... thanks to 3 of my frens who came and talk with me, and a very nice aunty who watched a comedy with me even though shes freezing inside the cinema... things will get better, thats for sure... I know it will be because I had no other choice...

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

歧视

We understand that discrimination exist everywhere in the world. But to what extend? and why can one never eliminate the existence of it? Even though this world had evolve into what we called an evolutionary era where discrimination is minimise, but in different parts of the world, it exist in different forms. Aside from skin colour, which usually is the typical type of discrimination, look at my beloved home country, people don't judge you by what you can do but they judge you by how you live your personal life. They discriminate people who are involved in the same sex (usually hard to tell if one is straight or not), people who had tattoos, males with ponytails, ear rings or even people who dress like a nerd. Depending on the jobs your looking for, people tend to stereotype these people. Why are these people not judge by their performance or KPIs but are judge by how they wanted their personal life to be? Does a tattooed male regional sales manager couldn't get the job done compare to a non tattooed spiky hair male regional manager? Does a multiple piercing with a chestnut coloured hair hotel GM will not be as efficient and assertive as a moustache chubby GM?

To me, its all bullsh*t, how could one be judge like this? It really sadden me when I see people struggling to save this rotten world while fact is we are actually making it worse. I almost forgot how beautiful this world is anymore. Hence, im uploading this few beautiful picture to make myself feel better....^_^

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

grey grey world

We look back at who we are and we notice, time flies. We been through tides and waves, we been tipsy, high like a G6, but what do we actually earn from each scenario? What do we value? I left my passion for life somewhere in the middle of the earth. I see no evil and I see no angels, I see no life in the day and I see chaos in the night. We named this a culture, we called this an evolution. Is this really where we are living now? We don't really sow what we reap anymore, and if whatever we do, with or without experience makes a different to the world, why is there no consequences in the actions we do? I ain't talking about karma, and yes consequences is not predictable anymore.

We live in a grey grey world, and I had to admit, I hate seeing things in black and white. If you were given a choice of making this world a better place, are you willing to sacrifice millions and billions of life, sometimes, including yourself to see colours restored to this world? I would...

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Tell me what do you see

I've done been through the pain and the sorrow, the struggle is nothing but love

I'm a soldier a rider a ghetto survivor and all the above

when i think that i cant, i envision obama, i envision the diamonds, i envision Ferraris

~Maino

what had life brought me?

Was out with a friend just now, and it is for the first time we went out together. Very interesting person with lots of unwise decision, not to say that I'm being judgemental over here but these are among the people that I could actually be youthful again. The more I talk to her, the more I felt I wanna help her, but I really don't know how, my methods might be obsolete. Honestly, I've lost so much confident since I came back here, I lost the motivation to be the person that I promised to be, I'm afraid, furthermore, I still carry the weight of the world over my shoulder.

I so wanted to tell her that hey, look... once you decide you wanted this, make it works, if it doesn't works, make your next thing works with what you had now, don't quit. I looked around myself and I saw disappointment, I saw people that had so much hope for me and when I'm just around the corner, I blew it... By seeing her tonight, I felt there is something I can do to light up that fire in her and hence make mine visible again. I need to reinvent myself once again, or I'll just keep on disappointing everyone...

I'm usually close with people that had broken families or those without a proper family or without a family. I don't know whether its fate that met us together or its something else to made us friends, but I guess it is my duty to get the best out of you. The best part is, these people are usually younger than I am, haa... coincidence? maybe not...